After about a week of communicating with a few men, and J asking me to meet I decided that if I wanted to see if this was something I liked, I would have to go ahead and move it off of the computer.
J and I had exchanged messages outlining a story that involved us meeting in a coffee shop and going back to my place, and so we decided to meet in a coffee shop nearby. I went to work that morning and was so nervous all day knowing what I had planned - this wasn't just a date, this was a date with a married man. A married man with children who I had never met before, but with whom I had shared explicit fantasies. A man who might be trying to exploit me, or use me, or hurt me. Or maybe the man I felt through his words...a lonely man who loved his wife and family but wanted to experience more.
I almost backed out.
I went home and took a quick shower, thinking 'I am washing myself because I am meeting a man in an hour and I know there's a very good chance we are going to have sex'. It was a very strange thought, and the butterflies were flitting around in my stomach.
The time rolled around. I looked at myself in the mirror. If I was ever going to do this, now was the time. I was doing this. Taking my first steps towards maybe being a mistress. Toward possibly being the catalyst to destroy a relationship. I grabbed my purse and walked out the door.
When I got to the coffee shop I realized we hadn't clarified where we would meet. I scanned the faces outside, no, that's not him, that's not him, I don't THINK that's him...I went inside and got in line. I saw a guy sitting with a laptop who kind of glanced up at me a couple times. He didn't look like the pictures, no I don't think J would have brought a laptop. Would he? Is that him? As I moved up in line I got to see another part of the shop - and there he was. On the other side of the room, that was the face. I left the line and walked over to him.
We gave each other a quick hug and I suggested we go back and get a coffee. We returned to the table with our coffees and started to make a little small talk, normal first date stuff, 'so what do you do? How was your day?' But this was not just any first date. This man and I had exchanged graphic emails outlining what we would like to do with each other. I knew he was married, he knew I knew he was married. We both knew why we were there, but didn't know how to broach it. He leaned in and kind of shielded his face from the rest of the room and started telling me how excited my messages got him. We started whispering a little bit back and forth and my hands were completely shaking.
I don't know how I did it. I don't know where the confidence came from. I don't know. But I said, 'do you want to get out of here?' Yes, he did.
Wednesday 12 June 2013
Tuesday 11 June 2013
A...Part One
A...oh A...
I think I actually reached out to A first. I saw his profile while I was still conducting searches (amazing how quickly that stops! I probably haven't done a search since my second day), 38 years old, 6'0", into extended foreplay, into passion and intimacy, a professional...like it was written just for me!
We exchanged a few messages and he showed me his pictures...two face shots, a full body and two bulge shots (A, I will learn, is VERY into taking bulge shots!) - very cute, smart, can spell...excellent. We quickly started texting on Tiger Text and after several hours of pretty constant texting we were both still wearing all our clothes in our fantasy. The boy likes foreplay, and he can chat...damn, he can chat!
Maybe I'll take a second to talk about Tiger Text. It's THE app for people who are cheating (although they say it's not!) for several reasons. First of all, because it goes over wifi or 3G and not as a text message there's no record on the phone bill. Especially when an affair is starting out and you're texting constantly this is very important - you don't want the wife opening the cell phone bill and seeing you're spending the whole day texting some strange number. The next great thing about Tiger Text is you can set it up so that your messages automatically erase after a certain amount of time. I use 4 hours, and 4 hours after it's sent, it's gone. So just in case someone does stumble upon it, chances are pretty good that most of the incriminating stuff will be wiped. Obviously, if you're cheating and your partner has access to your phone you should wipe it at the end of every convo. The other fun thing about Tiger Text is you can record 60 second audio clips and send them to each other! A and I have heard each other cum a few times already and haven't even met! It's extremely exciting!
A and I have a date in a couple days to meet IRL. I'm very excited about this one!
I think I actually reached out to A first. I saw his profile while I was still conducting searches (amazing how quickly that stops! I probably haven't done a search since my second day), 38 years old, 6'0", into extended foreplay, into passion and intimacy, a professional...like it was written just for me!
We exchanged a few messages and he showed me his pictures...two face shots, a full body and two bulge shots (A, I will learn, is VERY into taking bulge shots!) - very cute, smart, can spell...excellent. We quickly started texting on Tiger Text and after several hours of pretty constant texting we were both still wearing all our clothes in our fantasy. The boy likes foreplay, and he can chat...damn, he can chat!
Maybe I'll take a second to talk about Tiger Text. It's THE app for people who are cheating (although they say it's not!) for several reasons. First of all, because it goes over wifi or 3G and not as a text message there's no record on the phone bill. Especially when an affair is starting out and you're texting constantly this is very important - you don't want the wife opening the cell phone bill and seeing you're spending the whole day texting some strange number. The next great thing about Tiger Text is you can set it up so that your messages automatically erase after a certain amount of time. I use 4 hours, and 4 hours after it's sent, it's gone. So just in case someone does stumble upon it, chances are pretty good that most of the incriminating stuff will be wiped. Obviously, if you're cheating and your partner has access to your phone you should wipe it at the end of every convo. The other fun thing about Tiger Text is you can record 60 second audio clips and send them to each other! A and I have heard each other cum a few times already and haven't even met! It's extremely exciting!
A and I have a date in a couple days to meet IRL. I'm very excited about this one!
C...
Another guy I started communicating with right off the bat was 'C'. He sent me a couple messages and we went back and forth a little, then he opened up his photos to me - a couple kind of blurry selfies and a couple shots of his chest. Nothing too exciting, but not too bad.
C is 34 and has been married for 10 years, with his wife since he was 17 years old, and they have two little kids. He tells me he's had a couple little flings here and there but no extended affairs.
C is one of the first guys I start chatting with on Tiger Text and he texts me A LOT. First thing in the morning, late at night, all day long. We conducted several sexting sessions and he started asking to meet. I pushed against it and we kept chatting. He doesn't have the most vivid imagination, but gives some solid chat. After about a week of chat (and a fun afternoon with J! Story to come) I agreed to meet. We made arrangements to meet at a bar near my place on a Sunday afternoon.
Sunday afternoon rolls around, I'm about to leave the house and he texts me that the bar is closed. After some texts back and forth, I tell him I'll wait for him at a coffee shop nearby. I get there first and take a seat and text him letting him know where I am...and then he comes in. And, no. Great chat - not cute. Dressed very blue collar (I kind of knew what he did so wasn't too surprised by that) and bad teeth. My heart kind of sunk, but I thought, okay, I'll give him a shot. We got a coffee and sat down and started kind of chatting a little bit awkwardly. The way we were sitting we were beside each other, and as I turned to look at him..."Do you smoke?" It just fell out of my mouth, it was all I could smell. He said, "yeah, I told you that". No, you most definitely did not tell me that.
It's not that smoking is a COMPLETE deal breaker. If a man was thrilling and gorgeous and sexy and always carried gum I could maybe deal with it. Not cute, blue collar and smokes - not going to happen. I explained to him that doing this was a big deal for me and I wasn't prepared to do it unless there was a really strong connection, and I didn't think that was there. He understood and we parted ways. He sent me a couple texts thanking me for my honesty and telling me how I was more than he expected. Very sweet. I'm sure he's a great husband and father, I'm sure he can make some other woman feel very special, but I'm not that other woman...
C is 34 and has been married for 10 years, with his wife since he was 17 years old, and they have two little kids. He tells me he's had a couple little flings here and there but no extended affairs.
C is one of the first guys I start chatting with on Tiger Text and he texts me A LOT. First thing in the morning, late at night, all day long. We conducted several sexting sessions and he started asking to meet. I pushed against it and we kept chatting. He doesn't have the most vivid imagination, but gives some solid chat. After about a week of chat (and a fun afternoon with J! Story to come) I agreed to meet. We made arrangements to meet at a bar near my place on a Sunday afternoon.
Sunday afternoon rolls around, I'm about to leave the house and he texts me that the bar is closed. After some texts back and forth, I tell him I'll wait for him at a coffee shop nearby. I get there first and take a seat and text him letting him know where I am...and then he comes in. And, no. Great chat - not cute. Dressed very blue collar (I kind of knew what he did so wasn't too surprised by that) and bad teeth. My heart kind of sunk, but I thought, okay, I'll give him a shot. We got a coffee and sat down and started kind of chatting a little bit awkwardly. The way we were sitting we were beside each other, and as I turned to look at him..."Do you smoke?" It just fell out of my mouth, it was all I could smell. He said, "yeah, I told you that". No, you most definitely did not tell me that.
It's not that smoking is a COMPLETE deal breaker. If a man was thrilling and gorgeous and sexy and always carried gum I could maybe deal with it. Not cute, blue collar and smokes - not going to happen. I explained to him that doing this was a big deal for me and I wasn't prepared to do it unless there was a really strong connection, and I didn't think that was there. He understood and we parted ways. He sent me a couple texts thanking me for my honesty and telling me how I was more than he expected. Very sweet. I'm sure he's a great husband and father, I'm sure he can make some other woman feel very special, but I'm not that other woman...
Monday 10 June 2013
J...Part One
Obviously, after I signed up for Ashley Madison I immediately started reading profiles and checking out who was winking/sending messages/sending pictures. Very quickly it gets overwhelming, and my profile now specifies I don't respond to just winks and to send me a message. J was lucky enough to contact me while I was still able to handle all the interest.
J was the second guy to send me pictures - several very cute face shots (no penises which is a VERY common shot to get out there) and sent me a wink. I responded with something innocuous and we started chatting. We started off talking about what we were looking for, and what brought us to AM. J told me that he loved his wife and kids but his sex life was completely non-existent and he wasn't willing to give up that part of his life. He wanted some excitement in his life - and I was excited to maybe be the girl to give it to him!
After a few messages back and forth (where he used the magic words 'I am REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY into oral sex') he asked for a picture. At the time I didn't have pictures on AM, but I decided if I actually wanted to try this, some pictures were necessary. So I took a candid shot of my boobs (in a bra) and found a picture of my face where I look pretty cute and submitted them to AM. When they were approved (any time you change something on your profile someone at AM reviews it before making it public - I'm assuming the big thing is so you can't just give your email address or whatever out without actual contact - and money for them) I sent them off and he immediately asked me to meet in a few days.
That was a little quick for me so I asked him to tell me what would happen if we did meet. A big part of AM (and part that I very much enjoy!) is sexting/cybering/sharing fantasies, and so we started trading messages fantasizing about what we would do with each other. Then he did it. He knew exactly what I wanted to hear and he started saying it over and over.
I want you.
I want you.
I want you.
To me the hottest thing about being with a married man is being desired desperately, knowing that they're going through their ordinary lives dreaming about me, having to hide what they're thinking but desperate to get me alone.
I made arrangements to take the afternoon off work the next day...
Sunday 9 June 2013
And so it begins...
Married men like me. Really like me. For the last several years, every man that has shown interest in me has been married, and generally quite a bit older than me. This is very frustrating when you're a young(ish) woman trying to date and find a great guy.
After a lot of soul searching (to be discussed in further posts) I decided to explore the idea of having an affair with a married man (or men). This blog will chronicle my experiences on Ashley Madison learning if this is something I like, if there are great married men out there, and understanding a little more about the human experience. What makes people want to cheat? What makes me excited to get involved in them? And do all the guys on Ashley Madison really like giving oral sex as much as they say they do?!
After a lot of soul searching (to be discussed in further posts) I decided to explore the idea of having an affair with a married man (or men). This blog will chronicle my experiences on Ashley Madison learning if this is something I like, if there are great married men out there, and understanding a little more about the human experience. What makes people want to cheat? What makes me excited to get involved in them? And do all the guys on Ashley Madison really like giving oral sex as much as they say they do?!
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