WARNING: this post is talking about some gross stuff. If there's anyone out there in blog world reading this, consider yourself warned.
So I got a 'how ya doing' message from Sir the other day and in our exchanges I told him that I was going to be starting 'that time of the month' shortly and wouldn't be available. A few more messages back and forth and he suggested he come over and give me a massage - nothing sexual, just friends. Foolish me believed him!
So he came over today and started his ordinary way - hard kissing, pulling my head back, grabbing my nipples and then...hands travelled down. I should have known something as insignificant as a tampon wouldn't stop Sir! But it was okay and it felt pretty good, so I let things continue. He bent me over the bed, which isn't uncommon, and gave me a few spankings (he also grabbed my hairbrush and used it on me!) I'm still not quite understanding the whole spanking thing - I've said before, I like it in conjunction with pleasure (when he's using a toy on me and then spanks me or bites me or whatever it feels great!) but I am definitely not a masochist and I can't imagine I'll ever get to the point where I want a spanking on its own. It either feels like nothing or pain. So he kept touching me and then...I should have remembered there's another entire hole not affected by menstruation! Yup, butt stuff happened. Just with toys today, he couldn't get hard enough to actually fuck me (this is the problem with sleeping with older men who you have to use condoms with!) and most of it felt pretty good. Towards the end though I just felt like I was going to poop everywhere (I warned you! TMI!) and the worry about that took over everything, so I asked him to stop and went to the bathroom. I took the toys with me and they were, er, dirty. Blech, gross! So that was about it for me for the night.
I went back and wound up giving him a blowjob - and got a very weird request! A little background on Sir - although he's a Dom now he started off as a sub, and was trained by a couple. So as I'm doing my thing he says 'bite my cock'. What?! I was always taught that teeth are a strict no-no! In fact if my teeth get anywhere near J he shrieks! I wasn't sure I heard him right so I just kept doing what I was doing, but he said it again so I bit lightly, and then a little harder and then he came. Super weird.
Unfortunately his phone had been going off for a while so he stopped to check it and it turned out his daughter (new piece of the Sir puzzle! He has a 19 year old daughter!) had to be picked up so he had to run out. All in all kind of a weird night. And my bum hurts a little. I hope I get my massage next time!
Sunday 18 August 2013
Saturday 3 August 2013
I said what what...
...in the butt!
After Sir's last assignment, I know he wants to start training me on anal...the idea freaks me out a little bit. I've had anal sex I think twice when I was 18. I did it to make my then-boyfriend happy and I'm pretty sure we didn't have any lube (I probably didn't know what lube was) and I don't remember it being an awful experience (we loved each other and he was very sweet) but it was like, why bother? Vaginal sex feels awesome! Anal sex feels vaguely uncomfortable! So we stuck with the old standard.
But a big part of this mistressing experiment is to learn about myself sexually and to explore, and there's a whole orifice that hasn't been explored (oh, ew, I'm grossing MYSELF out!)
Uncertain though I am about this whole thing I figured I might as well get myself organized so I'm prepared when it happens. So I ordered myself some Sliquid Sassy lube (the 'booty' formula!) and a glass butt plug. Sir gave me that big squishy purple thing, but I prefer having better quality toys. The plug was actually really cheap (I think about $12?) but because it's glass it can be boiled to sterilize. I also picked up some rubber gloves at Target for, er, digital stimulation.
My package came in yesterday. Usually when I buy sex toys I get super excited and want to try them out immediately. This time, not so much. I pulled out my new Sassy lube and another bottle of Sliquid H2O which is my 'ordinary' lube and put them aside. Nothing too exciting or erotic about lubricant, just a necessity like condoms. And then...(ominous music)...the plug. It's actually kind of cute. I got this:
After Sir's last assignment, I know he wants to start training me on anal...the idea freaks me out a little bit. I've had anal sex I think twice when I was 18. I did it to make my then-boyfriend happy and I'm pretty sure we didn't have any lube (I probably didn't know what lube was) and I don't remember it being an awful experience (we loved each other and he was very sweet) but it was like, why bother? Vaginal sex feels awesome! Anal sex feels vaguely uncomfortable! So we stuck with the old standard.
But a big part of this mistressing experiment is to learn about myself sexually and to explore, and there's a whole orifice that hasn't been explored (oh, ew, I'm grossing MYSELF out!)
Uncertain though I am about this whole thing I figured I might as well get myself organized so I'm prepared when it happens. So I ordered myself some Sliquid Sassy lube (the 'booty' formula!) and a glass butt plug. Sir gave me that big squishy purple thing, but I prefer having better quality toys. The plug was actually really cheap (I think about $12?) but because it's glass it can be boiled to sterilize. I also picked up some rubber gloves at Target for, er, digital stimulation.
My package came in yesterday. Usually when I buy sex toys I get super excited and want to try them out immediately. This time, not so much. I pulled out my new Sassy lube and another bottle of Sliquid H2O which is my 'ordinary' lube and put them aside. Nothing too exciting or erotic about lubricant, just a necessity like condoms. And then...(ominous music)...the plug. It's actually kind of cute. I got this:
I put everything away in my toyboxes (yes, there are multiple! Sir has his own - I don't know that my other lovers really want to see floggers and such!) and went about my day, occasionally thinking about it but I couldn't work up the guts.
Today I decided, hey, it's now or never. I won't go into details but I used my Eroscillator while it was in and...it wasn't bad! It was actually kind of pleasurable feeling 'full' like that. I'm glad I've taken the steps so I can work on this alone before I try anything with Sir (or any of my other lovers - they're all obsessed with anal!) Wish me luck!
Thoughts on cheating
I went on a date yesterday, a first date with a single guy. We met on a dating website (while I enjoy my lovers, I would love to meet someone I could have a complete relationship with) and have been texting for a few weeks, but between my illness recently and his travels we weren't able t get it together for a meeting for a while.
He's a nice guy, I'm not sure if there are sparks or if I'll see him again, but it was very interesting that a pretty good chunk of our conversation was about his break-up with his wife due to her infidelity. I guess he had come across some text messages and confronted her, and it all came out. He said something to the effect of 'I guess it was an emotional thing, I don't think it was physical'. In any case, they've been separated for almost a year now and his ex is still with this guy.
Obviously this got me to thinking about my circumstances. The men I am sleeping with are married. Their relationships are all different and they're looking for an outside lover for various reasons, but the one thing they have in common is that they are married. And there is a possibility that, as a result of my actions, their marriages could break up.
But is it a result of my actions? I am not in love with any of these men. Honestly, if they were single I wouldn't even date Sir or K (I might date J and A) - not because they're bad guys but our lifestyles just wouldn't mesh for various reasons. I haven't used my siren song and feminine wiles to attract them away from loving relationships. I haven't encouraged them to do anything they didn't want to do. These men signed into a website whose tagline is "Life is short. Have an affair". They filled in their profiles. They pulled out a credit card and bought some 'credits'. And they started messaging women looking for someone to have sex with, to have some passion with, to pull them outside of their regular lives. And the woman they found to fulfil those fantasies was me. And they're loving it. Every time I see J he gets a goofy grin on his face and says "I'm so happy I met you". K showers me with compliments constantly. Sir has to keep his 'Domly stoicism' but I know he loves that he found me. We're having fun. No one is in love. No one (except maybe K) wants to fall in love. No one wants to change anyone's current circumstances.
All that being said, I have to recognize that it very well might. Someone might forget to wipe out text messages. Someone's wife calls while they're supposed to be at work and they're not. Things happen, and this could all implode. Will I feel guilty if that happens? Maybe. Am I the bad guy? I don't know.
We're walking a tightrope here, and one wrong step could cause my lovers to tumble and fall. I only hope I have a net.
He's a nice guy, I'm not sure if there are sparks or if I'll see him again, but it was very interesting that a pretty good chunk of our conversation was about his break-up with his wife due to her infidelity. I guess he had come across some text messages and confronted her, and it all came out. He said something to the effect of 'I guess it was an emotional thing, I don't think it was physical'. In any case, they've been separated for almost a year now and his ex is still with this guy.
Obviously this got me to thinking about my circumstances. The men I am sleeping with are married. Their relationships are all different and they're looking for an outside lover for various reasons, but the one thing they have in common is that they are married. And there is a possibility that, as a result of my actions, their marriages could break up.
But is it a result of my actions? I am not in love with any of these men. Honestly, if they were single I wouldn't even date Sir or K (I might date J and A) - not because they're bad guys but our lifestyles just wouldn't mesh for various reasons. I haven't used my siren song and feminine wiles to attract them away from loving relationships. I haven't encouraged them to do anything they didn't want to do. These men signed into a website whose tagline is "Life is short. Have an affair". They filled in their profiles. They pulled out a credit card and bought some 'credits'. And they started messaging women looking for someone to have sex with, to have some passion with, to pull them outside of their regular lives. And the woman they found to fulfil those fantasies was me. And they're loving it. Every time I see J he gets a goofy grin on his face and says "I'm so happy I met you". K showers me with compliments constantly. Sir has to keep his 'Domly stoicism' but I know he loves that he found me. We're having fun. No one is in love. No one (except maybe K) wants to fall in love. No one wants to change anyone's current circumstances.
All that being said, I have to recognize that it very well might. Someone might forget to wipe out text messages. Someone's wife calls while they're supposed to be at work and they're not. Things happen, and this could all implode. Will I feel guilty if that happens? Maybe. Am I the bad guy? I don't know.
We're walking a tightrope here, and one wrong step could cause my lovers to tumble and fall. I only hope I have a net.
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